I amy @metonymicanorak oh to be a yellow lab napping on windowsill overlooking a canal in Bruges

Me as a wife 0 iMessage Today AM Who's this? Did I call earlier? Idk who this is but he ain't have your number saved and I seen ya talk a couple times so I'm just asking who's this I'm his wife Ma'am im the delivery driver from kebab grill Read 12.19 AM Ok

Plans for the future? Wake up next to you

"Our cow wasn't feeling good so last night, My son went outside to spend time with her. woke up morning and found this"

Me waiting for my boyfriend to kiss me after just kissing me

My Uber driver kept licking his BALLS, he was very friendly 5 stars

When your phone dies in public and you don't know what to do with yourself