Duke Skymocker @DukeSkymocker Replying to @dog_rates This is Dale. He never wants anyone to leave so he plops his butt in front of the door if you put your shoes on. AM - - Twitter for Android

cnased some our backyard the other night they didn't know he just wanted to play

No one cared who I was until I put on the cat

Trenton Dyck, a 13-year-old suffering from cancer, donated his $9,780 Make-A-Wish dollars to Children in Haiti with no access to clean drinking water.

When the person you're trying to cheer up says you actually helped.

have u ever seen such a beautiful pigeon ?

mame ihe chimken and nobody gets hurt ll never surrender meow daddy heckin hunaery haha

@TheDreamGhoul every time i say my cat's name she looks at me like i just told her that her husband died at sea II

Her: Come over Me: can't! I got borking to do Her: My mom just left Me:

My son is traveling alone and requested a window seat

My wife said she was making tacos for dinner and before I could blink, Obsidian pops out with lightning speed

think he won.

She was awake for 20 minutes but wouldn't move because the kitten was asleep...

he smoosh the bubble

No one: Younger siblings everywhere: Mom said its my turn on the xbox

when the teacher tells you to eat healthy as she eats the 20th bag of cheetos that she bought for the students.

We call this the "Outrage Box" because she gets in it when she is mad at us

Like i was saying, the circus is just one of my careers. The real money comes from frosted flakes