Got stood up by my date so thought I'd treat a special girl in my life.

Tried meditating for 5 min. 3 year old peeled open my eyeball to ask if was still meditating. Pretty much sums up why most of us are frazzled basket cases. @Karen.Disapproves

he sit DEDOWN

When you lie on your resume but still get the job Mykidsbutler

When you make a nice painting and your parents hang it up and you feel nice

nope @ @LiINasX i have to pick one u guys 1,141 5301 GY 98.2K nope @ @LilINasX i got both

DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALSO SLEEP AT NIGHT

Ash Warner Don't you love how every picture of pandas is chaos

+10 armor +2 hooman resistance

WHEN YOUR CHILD INHERITS YOUR CHARACTER, AND NOW YOU HAVE A MINI TOXIC VERSION OF YOURSELF.

Friend: Come in, he don't bite Dog:

That face you make when the zoom meeting could have been an email

I let millie display her creative side last night. Truly one of the greatest artists of our generation.

Spent 7 years in special ed., graduating with a 1.8 GPA. A. teacher said I wasn't going to college. Now I'm a VCU grad & best-selling author.

Meerkats seem to rejoice when zoo visitors return after lockdown By Patrick Pester First Published 23 hours ago 00600 Penguins just carried on as normal. Meerkats at a Zoo in Italy during a nationwide win to control the spread of COY, 3-19. (Image credit: Stefano Gui di / Contributor via Getty Images)

Hey bartender, send a toilet water over there and tell her it's from me

This cat looks like he's holding a lithe machine gun

AN INTELLECTUAL READS NEWSPAPERS BEFORE HE PEES ON THEM