Me: dont get why you cant just say it to my face Someone: *says it to my face* Me:

My mom got her dog a sweater, when I asked why it was pink she said "he's very secure with his masculinity"

Thoughts of liked .rates This is Honey. She will show you her ears or her tongue, but never both. The world isn't ready for that. would boop PM Mar 11, 2021 - Twitter for iPhone Honey the 2,656 Retweets 151 Quote 29.2K Likes

Hen check nlo fren. This is a "check in. Are u doin ok? -Have u eaten and drinken? Just remember that luv no matter what. What. ave a wonderful day.

Spent 7 years in special ed., graduating with a 1.8 GPA. A. teacher said I wasn't going to college. Now I'm a VCU grad & best-selling author.

Girl: "I'm gonna take a picture of u with wine so it looks like u drink hahaha" Cat: "Whatever helps u cope with your chronic alcohol problem Stephanie" Girl: "what" Cat: "meow"

I was laughing and my dog thought I was hyperventilating and got me my emergency inhaler. Thanks pal? LOL. Service Dog

Bruce Landlord Today AM It is clear in the lease: no pets are allowed in the apt. Sorry Delivered OK I will make an exception because he looks very polite

coolcatgroup The bebby is hi ry

Steady 6 @SteadylsFlying He's so nosey bro @ @

LOVE ME I need attention

When you stop chasing your tail & start chasing your dreams

Sophie Kalagas if anyone's ever wondered how they weigh a koala...

ME, WHEN MY KID TAKES ONE LOOK AT DINNER AND SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE IT: JUST TRY IT

DAY Tt: THE MUMANS STILL GONT KNOW TARGETEN PAT

YOUR KOALAFICATIONS ARE COMPLETELY IRRELEPHANT

swear Mommy I didn't take it. Look at my hands, it's amotv!

Oho, agn...

MAY HAVE BOWL OF WATER? AM THIRSTY? NO. WHV DO VOU ASK?

It's called fashion Brenda look it up

Napping is such a gamble. You might wake up feeling refreshed, or you might wake up like

When you're on your lunch break considering not going back

Unless your baby looks like this I don't wanna see it on my timeline

Jordan Coombe @ @Jordan_Coombe Finally some breaking news worth reporting. aa BREAKING NEWS This pitbull pulled out her teddy to show it to a dog of another car Share the Good

promised him we'd go to the beach today. He waited for me to finish cleaning and doing the laundry. When told him, "O.k. lets go to the beach!" He could barely contain himself, He even heat me te the cay, But then 5 minutes inte the drive iiook aver and see thisa,

bassmonstertiff: jinyii: tastefullyoffensive: Where is your trunk, human?" [x] Cutest elephants ever. hi how are you! my name is Lelophent *tries to shake, feels around awkwardly, finds nose* oh... your trunk is kinda small... hm... well momma said everyone is different and special... nice to meet you "shakes stubby human trunk*

HE'S SMILING IN HIS SLEEP

When you are an unstoppable force to be reckoned with the nizzacat