Hey wait, I have something important to sav to vou.

This is 'Keys'. She keeps putting her paws in the air and nobody knows why.

My spirit animal is Duckmingo.

ks 'Ish that peesha? lave peesha!

BREAKING NEWS THIS DUCK IS HAPP 6-16 GCOMEONE TOLD WIM HE'C CLITE

My wife said she was making tacos for dinner and before I could blink, Obsidian pops out with lightning speed

When the server comes to the table while you're chomping on your food & asks if everything's okay and you're just like

target spotied my dog when he spats the mail man

The perfect employee doesn't exis- My. local hardware has a dog that follows you around, and takes your items to the counter for you. We

idreaminwords: frantzfandom awisemanoncesaidnothing: Usain Bolt posing with his winning tortoise at a tortoise race are you telling me the fastest man in the world spends his free time racing slow ass animals

When your human coughs and you have to take purrcautions.

uys maintenance tried to visit my use today and only left this on th door I'm crying repair plumbing For preventive maintenance For req sted maintenance Other: we could not complete work requested becaus Cock Other Message-

When you lie on your resume and still get the job

They say pets tend to look like thier owners. Unfortunately they're right. When dinner?

CARRY METO MY: FOOD SLAVE

date: you told me you were interesting? me: i said was 'into resting'

When someone compliments you and you don't know how to act

Vi Ruined mom's buth "4 Sot on candle la ace I on I fe